We Owe It To Our Daughters

I passed the mirror in the hallway of our home, and glanced at myself. I was two weeks postpartum with my second child, I had not worn makeup or done my hair in days, and I hadn’t had more than three hours of sleep at a time. I was exhausted, and I looked like it.

So with that quick glance, I made the comment that I thought no one would hear or pay attention to; the comment that has since then made me change the way I look at myself:

“Ugh! I look terrible!!”

No harm, right? I thought so until the next day when my two year old daughter was playing with her toy makeup set. She looked in the tiny, pink mirror and said, “Ugh! I look terrible!”

When I heard my beautiful, smart, talented daughter say these words, my heart sank. Just the words I had spoken about myself the day before, were being repeated by the girl who should never, ever feel like she is anything but beautiful, inside and out.


I learned that day that my words, perspective and love of and for myself has a huge effect on my daughters even when I think they are not listening or watching how I treat myself. In reality, I should not be okay with negativity towards myself just like I am not okay with it for my girls. I decided in that moment to have a positive outlook about where I am in life. No matter how I feel; no matter how much sleep I got (or didn't get); no matter how much baby weight I still need to lose; whether I had time to do my hair and makeup that morning; how I love myself can be the best example of positive womanhood for my daughters.


Some days I sure don’t feel like my best self, but the way I treat myself can either teach my girls self- respect or self-deprecation.

When a woman has confidence and pride in the way she considers herself, she will see others through the eyes of respect and love as well, and isn’t that what this world needs more of? We need more girls who love themselves and love others for simply being who they are! There are too many negative avenues that portray womanhood in a harmful way.

We should be their guiding light pointing them towards self- love, and, as a result, watch them love others too because we, as their fellow women, owe it to them!

We owe it to our girls to be the best us we can be, and sometimes the best us means not having it all together and that is okay!  We, as their mothers,
 are their compass pointing them in the right direction through their journey of becoming a woman.

We owe it to them to be the best versions of ourselves whether that means getting up a little early to put on our makeup and do our hair, or getting a little extra sleep instead because we just can’t function without it.

We owe it to them to be self-confident and to have a positive perspective about ourselves and our choices even if we can’t fit into those old jeans again. We are the ones who need to teach them about what beauty really is and how to be self- accepting no matter what we see in the mirror.

Our best self means we can laugh at our mistakes and do better next time;  cry when it's necessary; say no to things we just can’t get done, and be okay with taking a break!

Some days our best self means getting out of bed with a positive attitude and a smile because we know difficult stages don’t last forever and time flies too fast to focus on the not-so-pretty parts of motherhood. 

Being our best means doing what it takes to be a safe haven for our kids and family, and learning that there really is joy that can be found in every moment.

Out of all the influencers for girls out there, we should be the number one person who influences them the most.


Our goal should be to have them look up to us through every stage of womanhood; remembering that we, too, have been there before.

We should be okay with one day looking at our daughters and seeing a bit of ourselves in them, and I hope when that day comes for me, I see a woman who has confidence in herself, who loves herself, who takes care of herself regardless of where she is in life and carriers her beauty in her laughter, kindness and care. 

We must never forget that whether our girls seem interested in what we are doing or talking about, they are watching us and they are listening to us!

Commit to being your best self for your daughters, and be accepting of who your best self really is because I can tell you, it’s not perfection! You find your best self deep in the nitty gritty, soiled parts of motherhood, and arise from it with a smile, a laugh and a love for yourself that will leave your girls with an example like no other.

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